Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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