I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
