too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
