that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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