after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
