I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
