a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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