I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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