glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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