How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
