At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
