if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
