the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
