I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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