he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
