she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
