tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
