If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
