I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
