Barsexuality is the new black.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
