I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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