My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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