i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
