at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
