just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
