Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
