Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
