Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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