Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
