woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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