u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
