Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
