My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
