It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
