it's like iHOP with fire
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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