I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
