i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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