How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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