the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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