And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
