Where is the hickey?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
