It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
