Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
