His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
