I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
