found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
