i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
