Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this just has baby written all over it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
