I think I am morally bankrupt
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
