I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
