He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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