Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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