i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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