I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
